Disclaimer: Marvel owns Beast and the X-men (despite Debbie's wishing) and Sci-Fi owns Lucas and Seaquest (despite mine). All other references belong to their various owner, but their appearence is so brief we didn't feel like disclaiming. Please no sueing, we are just poor college students (although if you have to, sue Debbie, she's employed)
Deep in the bowels of the X-Mansion, farther into the dust bunnies than even Sara dared to tread, Hank McCoy searches for a diversion from his never-ending research into the legacy virus. Do these dust bunnies hide your average garage-sale junk? Of course, with a healty mix of alien technology, weapons, and the occasional dimensional portal.
Beast stood looking at the jumble of unlabeled equipment. "My stars and garters,this place is a disaster. Maybe we should have cleaned this place out after the last time the marauders attacked?" Hank sighed and rubbed his furry blue palms together in anticipation. "My time would be much better spent working on a cure for the Legacy Virus, but how I do love a good spring cleaning."
After only a few hours of sorting, the formerly blue mutant looked more like a gray ball of dust as he shifted though the basement and various pieces of equipment that had managed to gather in the unused corners of the mansion.
After six hours he had five main piles: Shi'ar, Kree, Skrull, Terran, and just plain junk.
"Well, maybe I had better see what this Shi'ar equipment can do." Beast chose a particularly prickly looking sphere and began to randamly stick componants together. Gleefull surprise shone in his eyes when the pieces slid in for a perfect interlocking fit. "As my friend Remi would say, 'Here goes nothing." With that he flipped a random switch and......nothing happened. "Hum, my maybe this other ....."
As Beast touched the red button time seemed to slow to a crawl, then a red haze filled the basement briefly turning Beast purple. "Oh dear." Hank's glasses dropped down to the edge of his fuzzy blue nose. In the blink of an eye Beast was gone, and a blond teenage boy dressed only in a t-shirt and boxers appeared. A shower of fine red dust settled over the surrounding gloom and the boy sneezed.
"Oh man, this can't be happening to me again......"
A cloud of hazy red dust was settling around a snoring Tony Piccolo. He sneezed and tried to roll over but found himself pinned in place. Something was holding him painfully stationary. He couldn't breathe. Tony came fully awake and struggled against whatever was perched on his chest. "Help!" Tony coughed weakly. "Help!!!!" Tony screamed with everything he had, and black spots swam before his eyes.
The pressure was immediately removed.
"So sorry," a friendly melodic voice called. "I'll have you out of there in a jiffy."
Tony tried to piece together what was going on. The last thing he could remember was turning in for bed the night before. Now that he could breathe somewhat easier he tried to examine his surroundings. He could see a bulkhead but only faintly. The wire mesh was only pressed lightly against his chest now? The top bunk? Something heavy caused the entire frame to buckle like this? "Lucas! You okay up there?" Tony struggled to pull himself out of the colapsed bunk but his legs were pinned securely. "Is anybody out there?"
"Yes, hush now and be still," the strange voice admonished. "Here we are." The foot of the beds began to whine as they slowly moved apart. "Stay absolutely still until I can acertain the extent of your injuries."
"Who are you? Are you with the Doc's medical team?" Tony asked. He tried to see past the blankets drooping in his line of sight. Invisible hands probed his legs and abdomen. "Careful, that's private."
"Excuse me." The blanket in front of his face moved back to reveal a huge blue hairy monster.
"Arghhh!!!!!!" Tony grabbed the warped frame of the top bunk and pulled himself out of a man-sized crack between the frames. Seated half-way in and half-way out of the frames, Tony glared at the beast, only slightly terrified. It took him a moment to really look at the thing, realizing it appeared...almost....civilized. Tiny round reading glasses perched on the end of its nose and a dusty pinkish lab coat draped over a fuzzy blue chest. Tony pulled himself up over the edge and looked for Lucas. The top bunk was trashed but empty.
'Damn, I swear, I'll never have another drink as long as live. Just as long as you keep all the pink elephants and cookie monsters out of my nightmares.' Tony extricated himself from the bed and took a fighting stance. 'This is so weird.'
"Okay fuzz ball, you done ate the wrong kid."
Lucas turned a circle and tried to get his bearings. The cavernous room was full of junk. Visibility was less than ten feet. Lucas began picking his way carefully across the unfarmiliar terrain. Slow going was made slower because of his bare feet. "Why is it that everytime something strange happens, I'm only wearing my stupid boxers?"
"I don't know up-worlder but you made a fatal mistake entering my home," a resonate feminine voice snarled from the shadows.
Lucas whirled around. I guess its too much to hope for a pleasant welcome. "I'm sorry. I was sleeping. Then I was here. I didn't mean to invade anything. If you'll just...." The woman stepped out of the shadows and into the gloomy light. Bones jutted out of faintly pink skin at dramatic angles. She gripped a bone dagger and sneered at the frightened boy. Lucas gasped and backpedalled. He tripped over a pile of machinery and his head smacked the concrete resonately.
"Stupid up-worlder," Sara spat. She walked over to the fallen boy and crossed her arms. "You got what you deserved. Creeping around in my home." Marrow threw down the bone knife and tapped her foot impatiently. After awhile she broke the bone protruding over her right shoulder off and tossed Lucas over the now smooth shoulder like a sack of potatos. "These up-worlders are makin' me soft."
Toni paused for a breath of air, wishing to God, any God, that this was a dream, it was just too weird to be real. Before he could take another swing at the smartass blue hairball that was, somehow, repeatedly avoiding his swings the aformentioned hairball swung over Toni, grabbing him from behind.
"My dear sir, I am sure you are in a state of shock, like myself..."
"YOUR in shock, I'd hate to see you when you aren't..."
"Yes well, if we could settle this in a peaceable manner I will release you..."
Ya right, a civilied Cookie Monster shows up in Seaquest... "Sure. Peaceful, I can do that." ...which is near the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.... "Just put me down, I'm sure this is all a big mistake." ...damn near crushes me to death... "Now just tell me what you did with Lucas." ...and expects CIVILIZED behavor....... not to mension he looks like the monster that keeps showing up in my dream just when I'm about to get that blond babe...
Before Beast can respond, Toni takes a flying leap towards the door, and manages to throw it open before Beast can grapple him again.
Toni goes flying out the door, right into....THE CAPTAIN.
"Hey, anybody out here....stupid up-worlders, don't be anywhere were they're needed" Then, with a rather sarcastic grin on her face Sarah yelled, "Biship, the securities been breached!!!!! We're under attack!!"
Sarah sat back waiting for a response, which took all of two seconds. Biship skidded into the room, with Storm exactly two feet behind him.
Biship, sounding like he was strangling, barked "Where."
With a huge grin Sarah pointed towards the body of the blond boy laying unconsious at the top of the stairs.
Biship gave Sarah a digusted look and leaned back as some of the rest of the X-men in residence, Wolverine, Jubilee, Artie, Leech, and Rogue, straggled in.
By this time Lucas was finally coming around, vaguely wondering why the sub wasn't rocking. As he slowly sat up, a rather loud, girlish voice proclaimed he wasn't, quite, dead yet.
"Whoa, he is sooooo cute!!!! Can we keep him?" Jubilee half-squeeled.
"Calm down sugah. He's got some explaing to do," Rogue yawned.
"What are you doing here bub?" Wolverine asked.
"He's an intruder. We should move him to proper interogation quarters," Bishop interjected.
"The kid doesn't smell dangerous. But this is Ro's call," Wolvie said.
Lucas stood shakily and tried to blink away double vision. He shook his head and the world came into focus. "Crap." A quick survey of the menagrie in front of him and he wished things had remained blury. Lucas got his wish. Blackness filled his vision and he colapsed into Storm's arms. Hazily, he wondered why there was a costume party in January.
"Someone locate Hank. Whoever he is, he needs a doctor," Storm commanded.
"I'll check the security system." Bishop trotted out of the room.
"I can help you get our little intruder to Hank's lab," Jubilee offered with an innocent grin on her adolescent face.
The security system wasn't what it used to be but Bishop had made do. Without cerebro everything functioned a little less efficiently. But with a little work this hobbled system would do almost as much as the old computer.
Bishop didn't like what the system was tellig him. If the data could be trusted then this intruder had a lot more explaining to do than anyone knew. He patted his gun for luck and headed down to Hank's lab where the intruder was being held.
"Bishop, where is Dr. McCoy," Ororo asked.
"Dr. McCoy disappeared off the security feeds in the basement about an hour ago. Exactly when this little anomaly showed up."
"Captain, Thank God!!" Tony gasped. "Ethier I'm having the most relistic dream of my life, or we've been invaded."
"Calm down Piccolo. Take a deep breath and start over," Bridger intoned slowly.
"I'm not hysterical captain. I was attacked by a big blue Cookie Monster that ate Lucas or something and its in my quarters now," Tony almost screamed.
Bridger frowned but walked over to the door. He pushed it in and glanced through the slight opening. A large blue beast was seated in the middle of the room twisting a jumbled metalic sphere, pausing to push its specticles back up. Bridger pulled the door shut, locked it, and spun around.
"You saw him too. I KNEW I wasn't going crazy!" Tony cried.
Captain Bridger walked to the hallway comm and flipped it on. "This is the Captain, bridge."
"Bridge here Captain," Ford replied.
"I need a full security team outside Piccolo and Lucas's room now, Commander." Bridger flipped off the comm and leaned against the wall. "You, tell me everything that happened, and where is Lucas?"
Tony shut his eyes and concentrated. Okay so I'm not dreaming. Bridger wants to know, what happened? "I don't know what happened." We was invaded by big blue fur-balls. "I woke up this morning being suffocated." The high protien diet of human children musta got that thing's weight up over the limit of Lucas's bunk. "That thing collapsed the top bunk on me. Then it pried me free." Open can remove lunch. "And Lucas is missing."
Brody and a five person security team jogged up to the captain. "I need your weapons set on the highest stun setting. I want you to capture the blue thing in that room," pointing toward Piccolo's room.
"Blue thing captain?" Brody asked, looking slightly started.
"I don't know what it is but I want it under control," Bridger responded. "Be careful, stun it, I want it alive."
Brody kicked in the door. He and his men ran in single file. The shooting began almost immediately. Followed soon by silence. The door swang open and Beast stood in it. He placed each of the security team, bound and gagged into the hallway. Brody struggled fiercely, to no avail.
"Perhaps we should converse before this misunderstand goes beyond rational control," Beast requested in a calm voice.
Bridger's mouth fell open and he backed into the bulkhead. "Talking's good."
In the medlab Lucas was slowly coming around again. "Its just a dream, a dream, only a dream." Lucas was about repeat his mantra again when a low southern drawl interuped him.
"Sugah, yo gonna wish it was a dream if you don' tell us were ya put Hank."
Lucas slowly cracked an eyelid, wondering why it smelled like sterializer, the medlab on Seaquest tended to smell overwellmingly of ocean. Then the words sank in and he bolted upright, only lay back down as pain exploded in his head. As his vision cleared he looked towards the voice. For a moment he believed he really was dreaming as a vision with two-toned hair and dressed in a green skintight suit came into view.
"Umm.....who's Hank?"
Before the vision could reply, another voice took over. "I've completed my initual exam. The boy has suffered a slight cuncussion, but that will pass with no more than a headache. I've also ran some other test and have concluded that he is not a mutant."
"Mutant..." the word sounded like it was comming from somewere on the other side of the universe. He looked at the black woman who had just spoken. She looked like she would rather not be there.
"Then what did he do with Hank?" came a growl from the region of Lucas's foot. He decided he did not want to find out what that speaker looked like, the vioce was frightening enough.
"Would someone be kind enough to explain what's going on?" Although Lucas thought he was being polite, his question only earned him glares from the assemblage.
"Well, its like this, like Hank was in the basement, and suddenly he disapears, and you appear, covered in red dust. Like, it obviously means you have something to do with the Hanksters disapearance." It was the hyper voice again. He decided not to look when the growling resumed from his foot region.
An hour later Brider, Ford, Toni, Wendy Smith, and a spitting mad Brody were gathered in the captains office. They were all staring at Beast with varing degrees of surprise and anger.
With a great sigh, the bespecled Cookie Monster began to talk. "My name is Dr. Henry McCoy, although most just call me Beast. I was in the basement sorting through the vast amount of equipment and junk that has managed to accumilate. I had managed to sort it into piles of common place of origin. I decided to start catagorizing the Shi'ar equipment.."
Bridger interupted at this point, "Shi'ar?"
Hank cosidered the man before him, who strangly reminded him of Scott. "The Shi'ar are an alien race we have been in contact with at various times in our career as X-men."
"X-men?"
"Yes, of course, we are an organization of mutants, fighting for Charles Xaviers dream of a peaceful existance between mutants and humans."
Bridger looked like he wanted to question that as well, but the well meaning Dr. Smith, laided a rastraining hand on his arm, "I believe we should finish lisening to Dr. McCoys story and then ask questions." Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Achumm, yes, well, were was I.... Ah the Shi'ar equipment. I began to put pieces together, rather randomly I must ammit, and was plesently surprised when it fit together on the first try. Well I flicked one switch and nothing happened. Then I pushed the red button, and the next thing I know I was on a rather weak bunk bed, which proceeded to collapse on the poor gentleman.....Ummmm, I don't believe we have been properly interoduced yet..." Hank trailed off looking rather hopefully at Toni.
Tony glared at Hank and pointed an accusing finger at the mutant. "You still haven't explained what happened to Lucas. He was sleeping on that bunk."
"Oh dear." Hank pushed his glasses up on his nose and gazed up thoughtfully. "It would seem that the physical law of conservation of matter caused a juxtiposition rather than a simple one way sling-shot. That would mean, your Lucas is in Westchester safe and sound in my basement. Well safe so long as Sara doesn't find him. She can be somewhat territorial."
"New York?" Bridger asked.
"Yes, but not exactly. I have come to suspect that perhaps I am in an alternate dimension." Beast watched these humans for a response.
"What was your first clue?" Brody snapped.
"Actually it was the fellow under the bunk's reaction to my appearance. Not one epitath about my obvious genetic heritage, unlikely in a sailor. Your ignorance of the mutant subculture in my society only shores up my initial impression that this is not my home dimension." Beast smiled as his deductive reasoning flowed freely. "This isn't my first dimensional jaunt. They can be quite enjoyable."
"Twice in one tour," Bridger complained. "Can you fix this?"
"Certainly, I will need the Shi'ar sphere. It is my belief that the black button is a reverse switch," Hank replied confidently. Or maybe its the digital alarm. No need to worry anyone... yet.
"By the way, what does the abreviation UEO stand for. Are you military, political, scientific, corperate, or terrorist organization?"
Ford gave Beast a digruntaled look and snapped, "United Earth Oceans, it is a political organization that is composed of several nations. This boat is the flagship, and carries both military and scientific personell. We defend the oceanic colonies and study the oceanic ecosystems."
Hank nodded thoughtfully. "I would be happy to utilize the Shi'ar sphere and return home now, if that is amiable to all parties."
"Wait! Can I examine you before you leave?" Wendy cried.
Hank adopted his most debonair smile and gave her a florishing bow. "Anything for you ma'am."
Back in the X-men's Medlab Lucas's interogation was also just begining.
"Look, I don't know anyhting about a Dr. McCoy, or about X-men, Mutants, or even Charles Xavier. I had just gone to bed, and the next thing I knew Little Miss Bones over there was waving a weapon at me. I musta fell and hit my head, and you know the rest of the story."
Lucas immediatly regretted letting his temper get ahold of his tongue as 'Little Miss Bones' started towards him looking for all the world like she was going make him pay for the nickname.
"Marrow." With a single word the white-haired woman, Storm he thought, made the girl back down. "There is the possibility that this is not the boy's fault. First I would like to know what Hank was doing down in the basement. After that we will decide what to do with the boy. Wolverine, Jubilee, Sarah," Storm got a rather nasty look for that one, " and I will examine the basement. Artie and Leech, you may go watch telivision. Biship would you kindly find Remy, and Rogue would you kindly stay and watch the Boy."
Jubilee looked like she was going to protest the assignment, but a glare from Storm and a growl from Wolverine prevented it.
"I have a name," Lucas complained.
"Well spit it out sugah," Rogue drolled.
"Lucas. Wollenczak."
"I'm sorry, Lucas. It was rude of us not to introduce ourelves." The white haired bronzed leader apologized. "I am Ororo Monroe, or Storm."
"Just Rogue," the sexy woman in the skin-tight green number offered.
"I'm Leech and this is my friend Artie," the small green boy offered. His pink friend smiled and a holographic smiley face apeared above his head.
"I'm yours," Jubilee said absently. Wolverine growled and extended his claws. She hastily continued, "My name's Jubilation Lee."
"Name's Logan, but you can call me Wolverine," the short hairy fellow with the claws grumbled.
"I'm Bishop, and your friend with the bones is Marrow," the black fellow with the big gun supplied.
"Nice to meet you," Lucas offered half-heartedly.
Everybody filed out of the room, leaving Lucas alone with Rogue, who didn't look overly friendly, and the docotor, who was definitely disgruntled.
"Mah Gawd, its hot in here," Rogue complained. She shrugged the top coat of her out-fit off. The undershirt left her arms bare from shoulder to wrist. "Do me a favor sugah. Don't touch me alright. I might drain the life right out of ya."
Lucas frowned and nodded. This palce and these people were incredibly strange. Who knew how long he'd be here. Knowledge is power he reasoned. "So, could you tell me more about this place?" Lucas smiled with every ounce of puppy charm he could scrape together.
"Well Doctor, did you find anything interesting?" Bridger asked. The captain was trying to keep things professional and moving along. The sooner their fuzzy visitor's check up was over, the sooner he could try and get things back to normal. Lucas's disapearing acts were playing havok with Nathan's equilibrium. Not that anyone could blame the kid. He just had a nack for finding dimensional anomalies.
"An easier question would be did I find anything uninteresting," Wendy gushed. "He is amazing."
"What is he?" Bridger asked. Momentarily caught up in Wendy's scientific curiosity.
Wendy started to answer but shook her head instead. "He's almost human? I don't think he was engineered like Dagwood. He was born different." Bridger pored over the data that was haphazardly strew across the work-bench.
In the adjoining room a crash was heard followed by several exclamations of surprise. "My technicians don't function at their peak when dealing with furry blue patients and that crowd isn't helping."
"I imagine you would like him moved out of med-bay asap," Bridger asked.
"Yes, Brody has three men guarding him." Wendy sighed and wrapped her arms around her clipboard. "Those two got off on the wrong foot, didn't they. I don't need the garrison under foot."
"We're going to move him to the lab across the hall and let him try to reasemble his experiment," Bridger supplied.
"I'd like to be there," Dr. Smith requested.
Bridger nodded and they proceeded into the adjoining room.
Hank was lying on a medical bed jiving back and forth. A pair of headphones disapeared into his furry head.
"The poor fellow was bored to death," a nurse explained, clearly smitten.
"Its fine," Wendy assured her.
"Dr. McCoy, are you ready to attempt your experiment?" Bridger asked somewhat loudly.
Hank pulled down the head phones and grinned, showing off an impressive array of sharp teeth. "Absolutely, do you have the sphere?"
"It's across the hall," Bridger replied. Two of the tree guards proceeded out into the hall and sealed off either end. Once in position they called the all clear and the third guard hussled Beast across the corridor.
"Military precaution. This is acually refreshing after the controlled insanity back home without Scott to scare the more mischeivous of our members," Beast commented aloud to himself. His face fell as soon as they entered the lab. The sphere was basically intact but two of the projections had fallen out or been removed. "Great googlie mooglies." beast picked up the sphere and examined the three empty orfices. "Things have just became much more interesting."
Rogue had started this assignment with the firm resolution to keep her mouth shut. But her assignment's clear blue eyes and blond hair reminded her of Cody. At first she was just going to tell him about her home in Mississippi, but without realizing how it happened she ended up reciting the entire history of the universe according to the x-men.
"So Jubilee, Artie, and Leech are recovering from a bad case of the chicken pocks and the rest of us are just sorta hanging out waiting for things to get crazy again," Rogue concluded.
"That is, pretty unbelievable," Lucas commented. He stifled a yawn. Sure the story had been interesting but he had been listening for two hours straight and still he had the distinct impression that Rogue had skimmed over most of her story.
Rogue noticed his aborted yawn and smiled. "Cecelia, do you think it would be okay if me and Lucas go in and watch some TV with the kids?"
Cecelia, Lucas mulled the name over. The only person who hadn't introduced herself, the African American doctor was not happy to be there.
"Go," Cecilia answered. "It will probably help keep him awake anyhow. Sleeping would be a bad idea for the next twenty-four hours." With that statement she closed his chart and walked out.
"Wasn't that just polite," Rogue said to the empty doorway.
Lucas stood somewhat shakily. A dizzy spell hit him and he steadied himself by grabbing Rogue's arm. Too late he remembered her warning about avoiding skin to skin contact with her. He felt his mind slipping away from himself and diluting into a foreign consciousness.
Hank stared at the sphere and the two accessories. "Well, there are eight permutations with which the sphere can be reassembled. One of those eight corresponds to my home."
"What do you propose?" Bridger asked.
Hank sighed and scratched his chin. "Trial and error?"
Rogue yanked her arm out of Lucas's grasp, all but falling herself as another conciousness entered her own. "Ah no, tol' him not ta touch ma skin."
She paused for a moment, gave the fallen Lucas a funny look and mumbled, "Talking Dolphins? Pink haired military child genius's? Ghosts and dead gods taking over peoples bodies? Gee, this kid is really weird." She reached down and picked Lucas up. The gentle shake she gave him, brought him slowly around.
Lucas looked around rather groggily, "What happened?"
"Ah tol' ya no' to touch mah skin. Ah've absorbed several of your memories. Well, now at least we kno' yo're tellin' the truth." She paused, "Did ya really invent a communicator ta talk ta dolphins?"
Lucas looked blankly at Rogue for a moment, wondering how her head could be in five different places at the same time. Slowly the heads began to merge and Rogue's words registered. He blinked. Ever so slowly the hazzy world of words came back into his head and finally they made it to his mouth.
"Yeah. Can I have an asprin, or twenty maybe? Just enough to make Seaquest come back."
Rogue smiled and nodded. She went over to the cabinate, but couldn't find any kind of headache medicine. Nor could she find any anywere else in the lab. "Gee, how can a medical facility not have medicine. Look, Lucas, why don't I take you down to the tv room, and then go find some asprin for ya."
Lucas nodded, still looking kinda spaced out. Then he gave a yelp of surprise as Rogue bodily picked him up like he was no more than a paper doll.
Beast considered the pile of Shi'ar equipemet sitting so tantalizingly before him. He sighed again, then asked if he could borrow some paper and pencils so that he didn't do a combination twice. "Oh and some food would certanly help the old nogin in its contimplative processes."
Toni, of course, got to be the waiter on this ocsasion. He looked like he was about to rebell against the demotion to gopher, but a look from Bridger that said behave' stifled the impulse. "Of course." You lousy blue Lucas eater, "Anything for our distinguished guest." A drink, dinner on the Riviera, poisened apricot juice, a night with frenzied cookie monster eating sharks....
Toni was laughing when he left, leaving Beast and everyone else to wonder if he had finally lost it.
By the time Toni got back with enough food to feed the entire contingent in the lab, Beast had diagramed the sphere and was writing out the combinations in which it could be put back together.
After a long intelectual lunch that left Toni, Ford, and Brody behind in the first ten minutes, Beast was ready to try the first combination.
He put it together, flipped the switch, pushed the red button, and FLUMSH, he was gone.
In his place stood a person that in no way resembled Lucas. Captain knew Lucas would never look that good or neat in a uniform.
Lucas was staring, knew he was staring, but didn't feel the least bit guilty about it because the stare was being returned twofold.
"Umm, hi.....Watcha watching?"
Leech giggled, leaned over to Artie, spent several seconds whispering in his ear, then sat back. Artie gave Lucas a wide-eyed stare, then a picture bubble appeared over his head. In it was a Scooby Doo. Artie then proceeded to point towards the tv, giving Lucas a look that clearly said, 'Can't you see for yourself.'
Lucas looked startled, then laughed at himself and said, "I'll tell you a secret," he paused, long enough for the two boys to crowd up to him in breathless anticipation. "I watch Scooby Doo whenever I can, although I have to hack into some company databases to do so, since where I come from cartoons are ancient history."
Artie and Leech gave Lucas a look of pure hero worship once they learned he was a hacker. "Leech and Artie want to know more about Lucas-boy's hacking, can Lucas-boy teach Leech and Artie how to be hackers too?"
Lucas considered this a moment, and then said, "Well, as long as I'm here I guess I could teach you a few tricks. Show me the way to a computer."
Both boys cheered, and they led him down to the main computer room.